Where the hell did 2013 go!?

Hi guys,

I've really abandoned my blog over the past months mostly because I've been at either at Uni, Ill or just not really sure what to say, but I thought I'd come on to update you a little bit and to really just be able to write things down that i want to do this year. So, lets be honest last year was a bumpy year for me, working hard to get on the transplant list after nearly being refused because they didn't think that mentally I would cope, which I thinks sorted now. I mean I've been seeing Anna now ( my physiatrist) for over a year and even though I'm still a long way away from where I want to be, I'm slowly making progress on my mental health and the way in which i see things.

So 4 and half months I've been on the waiting list now, and I know I'm so stupidly far away from getting my call yet but I just cant help but shake when my phone calls on a private number or late at night. I've got to go see them in a two weeks to do some updated tests, fingers crossed nothings got worse. Maybe this time next year I'll have new lungs. we'll see.

Oh and guys! I did it, I started Uni, after all the comments I got off the CF twitter community helping me make a decision, I did it, I went! However, I'm finding it hard to commute and keep up, I'm trying my hardest but it just doesn't seem good enough! So many people didn't think I wouldn't be able to do it and I want to prove them wrong but I'm finding it hard. I don't want to leave but I don't want to come home crying everyday. See my situation?

Anyway! How was everyones Christmas? Mine was good, I was in hospital for the Christmas Build up but came out a few days before the day itself, still not well but more determined to be at home. NYE was also something else, It was such a good night considering me and my best mate thought it might be a bit awkward but it ended up by me crying like a little bitch to a girl I just met, but she was lovely about it all and I never felt judged or different for just them few minutes. Now though, I'm feeling the after effect with a temp, bad cough, sore lungs and depending on Oxygen, but you know what I'm fine! This year i will NOT be always down like last year, I'm going to live this year and do what I want, however, ill I feel.

Anyway guys, i hope you have an amazing and healthy 2014 and i love you all.